Fellows, fellows, let me tell you why there's contention at home.
Let me tell you why your wife, your lover, your girl doesn't trust you, okay?
It's not because of daddy issues.
It's not because of the past and the issue, that plays a small part in it.
We as men have to own our certainty and why I mean by this is that if we don't know what we want, how the hell do we lead our family?
How do we lead our posterity?
How do we lead our tribe?
I just got off the phone with a buddy of mine and he's going through a really hard time and he reached out and he said, "I'm separated, and this is what's going on," and of course in typical fashion it was, "Well my wife and this and my wife this and my wife this," and I'm like, "Bro, what do you want?" "Well you know, I wanted this and this." I'm like, "No, what do you really want?" And at the end of the day he didn't really know.
Now here's the interesting thing fellows is if you don't know what the fuck you want, how do you expect your wife, your woman, your lover to have confidence and trust and faith in you?
You see it's not the issue of money.
Ladies, I know you'll back me up on this.
It's not the issue of money when you're talking about real love.
There's gold diggers, I'm not talking about that shit.
At the end of the day what a woman wants is security and it's not finances, bro.
It's not that you make an exorbitant amount of money.
It's the fact that you can make money.
It's the fact that you do make money.
It's the fact that you're consistent in what you say and you consistently can lead the family.
Now the reality is if you don't know yourself what you want, if you don't know what you want in your body, in your mind, in your relationship, in your business, guess what happens?
That uncertainty transfers over to her and guess what?
She'll clam up.
She shuts off and then what do we do, "Oh, she's being a bitch and she doesn't support my vision and she doesn't love me."
No, dude, it's because you're not fucking certain about what you want.
It's because you don't know.
If you don't know, how the fuck you expecting her to just hitch to that wagon of uncertainty?
Final thought on this.
If all of a sudden you figure it all out and you're like, "Honey, I figured out I've been an asshole for 10 years, but here's what's going to happen. I'm going to and I'm going to and I'm going to."
You know what she's going to believe?
None of it.
A weekend in Cabo's not going to solve the fact that you've been a dick for 10 years, working 20 hours a day, and haven't taken her on a date.
Buying her a Louie bag doesn't solve the fact that you haven't connected emotionally or spiritually or physically with her in years.
I talk about in my book how we eat the elephants one bite at a time.
You get on base by hitting singles and if you want to build a big business, if you want to build a great relationship, you've got to get on base every single day.
You've got to just be focused on hitting small singles.
And I told my friend, I'm like, "Look man," he's like, "Oh shit, I think I see the like, I don't really know what I want. What do I do? And I'm going to go tell her this." And I'm like, "No, dude, don't." Figure out what the fuck you really want and then go live it. If you want her, build something and be consistent with it.
And what'll happen is "her being that bitch", she won't be that bitch.
Once you show her that you know what the hell you want and the direction that you're going.
But fellas, you got to figure out what the hell you want, man.
And you got to live it.
And at the end of the day if you don't know what you want, don't be surprised that your woman doesn't trust you.
Don't be surprised that there's a lot of friction in your relationship, your business, your world.