A Message To Parents

by Sean Whalen October 09, 2020 3 min read

A Message To Parents

My friends, if you were a parent and you have a child I want to share something with you really quick.

I just got a message from the gentleman who was talking about his 11 year old son.

And he's struggling with his 11 year old son, because he seems to not have any drive in life, he seems to just be struggling.

And his older sister is super assertive and popular and all this other stuff.

I have three kids.

I have a 16 year old daughter who's my oldest, I have a 13 year old boy who is my oldest boy, and then I have a 10 year old son, all three radically different.

I remember when I had my kids and I was like dude, my kids are going to be football players and they're going to be crazy, and my daughter's going to be all of these things.

You just have these grandiose ideas as parents.

And with so much data and so much information coming to us nowadays, it's fucking hard to understand like well, my kid should be here and we benchmark and we test, and they're here on this scale and on this scale, and they don't want to sit in class so let's pump them full of drugs and shit and all of this panic.

I know, because I'm a dad.

I got three kids and I got kids that struggle.

My daughter has lupus.

My other son, they thought he had autism when he was six months old.

SMy message is simply this.

Think back to when you were a kid, parents.

Think back to when you were 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16.

That's a really fucking confusing time.

That was a really confusing time for me.

My parents went through a divorce, your body's maturing, you're getting boners as boys, and you're trying to figure out sex and what all of this shit is and all of life and emotions, and you feel bad and you feel good and you hate and you're angry and you're this and you're that, and you get picked on or maybe you you pick on somebody.

Go back to when you were a kid.

It's a confusing time.

It's a confusing freaking time, right?

For every kid, black, white, rich, poor doesn't matter.

My suggestion and my advice to parents that reach out to me is simply this, and this is something that I chose to do a couple of years ago with my kids because I realized that my children are not different than me.

They're going to grow up.

Who had the most impact in my life?

The people that had the most impact on me were the people just loved me for who I was, whether I made a mistake, whether I was up, whether I was down, whether I was this, I was that.

You understand?

So many parents are like, get off all the video games and this and that and the other.

If your child loves video games, sit down and play a video game with him for a minute.

Be inside their world.

They're curious.

They don't know what the hell is going on.

They're learning, they're evolving, they're adapting in a crazy world, a hell of a lot crazier than when we grew up.

Love your kid from where they are.

Love them for where they are.

My youngest boy, he sucks at football.

He has zero aggression in his body.

My older boy, he's like a freaking savage.

He goes out and rips people's heads off.

I want my younger son to go out there and be aggressive.

It's just not where he's at right now.

I love him where he is.

Parents, love your kids where they are.

I promise you, you can pound the pavement, you can see the doctors, you can pump the drugs, you can try and get them all to fit into this box of what normal looks like.

But the truth of the matter is they're going to grow up and they're going to remember the same thing that you and I remember, which is who loved me when I was a kid, who held space for me, who allowed me to be me, and who was trying to freaking dictate my life and do all of these different things and make me somebody that I'm not.

Take that for what it's worth, parents.

If your kid's struggling, if you're struggling with your kid, if your kid's trying to figure out who the hell they are and where they're going, and they're confused or angry, they're lost, just be with them where they are.

Stop trying to dictate their life and tell them what's normal and tell them where to go.

Just fucking love them for where they are right now.

I promise you that'll connect you to them deeper and stronger than anything else you could do.

Much love to all the parents.

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